


Too Much To Drink

by Queen_Anarchy



Category: Freakazoid (Cartoon)
Genre: Alcohol, Drinking, Drunken Kissing, M/M, One Shot, One-Sided Attraction, Rare Pairings, i guess this is fluff??, idk - Freeform, sorta - not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 05:20:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14709876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_Anarchy/pseuds/Queen_Anarchy
Summary: After a long day of crime fighting, the crew goes back to the Freakalair to celebrate with some juice boxes. Except for Professor Jones, who chooses to drink something else instead...





	Too Much To Drink

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The Freakasquad](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=The+Freakasquad).



“HA HA! Did you see the way his face looked when he fell into the bubble gum vat? He was all ‘OoOoOooh- Help me! Help me! It’s getting stuck in my horns OOO~!’” The hero laughed as he pushed through the door of the Freakalair with his entourage of companions.

“Sure did, kid.” Cosgrove walked with the teen as he celebrated his most recent victory against Longhorn.

Professor Jones scoffed, “I hardly recall him say anything of the sort.”

“Oh be nice, Professor Jones, he’s just excited.” Steff put a hand on his shoulder “Let him have his fun, hm?”

He rolled his eyes as he cleaned up stray dishes from earlier in the day, doing his best to avoid everyone while still in the room with them, “I think he’s had enough fun already.”

Freakazoid smiled at him, “Aw, is Jonesy-Wonesy still mad we pretended to drop you in the alligator pit?”

He slammed the dishes down and crosses his arms “Of course I’m mad! You lot don’t respect me at all!”

Freak waved it off, “It was just a little bit of fun, Jonesy. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

Professor Jones stuck his nose up in protest of this seemingly false statement.

“Here, I’ve got an idea. How about we celebrate a little bit? We could get a few drinks and just hang out! How does that sound?”

The man stood there for a moment before surrendering.  
“Fine, but I’m drinking my wine while the rest of you have your little juice boxes. I think I deserve it.” He turned and wandered into the kitchen without another word, or without listening to another one.

Freakazoid shrugged and turned to the others, “Steff and I can go get the juice boxes from upstairs while you two hold the fort down here.”

Cosgrove sat down on the couch before he gave the boy a thumbs up, “Sounds good, kid.”

The hero offered a hand to Steff and entered the elevator with her before it closed, and the Freakalair was filled with the sound of mechanic whirring as the machine went up.

The manservant came back into the room with a metal tray with two wine glasses and a fancy looking bottle.  
He set the tray down on the side table and began to pour the bottle’s contents into one of the glasses.  
“You’re an adult, Cosgrove. Would you like some?”

He put a hand up,”No thanks, I’m on patrol tomorrow.”

The professor sat down and crossed his legs, “Suit yourself.” He chugged down the entire glass of the red liquid before pouring another one.

Cosgrove raised an eyebrow, “Did you really have that bad of a day?”

He shrugged and swished the drink around, “It could have been better.”

“It could have been worse…”

Jones took another sip, “Well, it’s too late for that now isn’t it?”

Cosgrove shrugged and folded his hands over his stomach and leaned back into the couch. There was no point in arguing with the guy. Everyone saw things differently and he knew the Professor was way more sensitive than he was.  
That, and he didn’t really wanna listen to him complain anymore anyway.  
He ignored him until he heard him laughing quietly.  
“What are you laughing about?”

“Hm, h-heh. It’s just, you’re so quiet, but your best friend is the epitome of energy and you’re just- Haha- It’s like putting a brick next to a rabid squirrel!”

The officer just stared at him.”... It’s not that funny.”

He was having a hard time catching his breath, “O-Oh, but it is! AHAHA-”

Cosgrove sat up and studied him, “You’re drunk.”

Jones looked up at him and tried his best to stifle his giggles but to no avail.  
“Just- Just a little bit, heehee.”

Cosgrove laughed, “I didn’t think you were that much of a lightweight.”

The professor shrugged and erupted into laughter again.

“I think I like drunk Professor Jones better.”

The younger of the two got uncomfortably close to the older man, “Oh~ Do you?”  
Cosgrove gently shoved him away. “Nevermind.”

Jones crawled back over and leaned against Cosgrove’s shoulder “Come on, Mike, I’m not so bad. I think you and I have more in common than you think…”

“Like what?” He decided to ignore the fact that the butler used his first name, which nobody did, except his own mother.

“Well, you and I both like meat a lot. I can make a mean meatloaf, and I know how to grill like Norm Abram knows wood.”  
He put a hand on the officer's chest and looked up at him, “Maybe sometime I could make a nice dinner for the two of us.”

Cosgrove frowned, “Um, I’ll think about it.”  
He knew it was the drink talking of course. It was pretty obvious that Professor Jones didn’t really like him much, and the feelings were mutual.  
He took the man's hand and moved it away from him, “I think you’ve had enough to drink, Jones.”

“Oh, but I’m just getting started! We’re supposed to be celebrating, remember?”  
He giggled and plucked the officers hat off and placed it on himself.  
“Plus I’m waiting for Freakazoid to return.”

“Hey! Cut it-” He reached for his hat, but the professor had longer arms than he did.

“Ah-Ah! You know that doesn’t work on me.”  
He smiled, “You have such nice hair anyway, you should be glad I took this awful thing away.”

“Knock it off, Jones.” He crawled over to the man to retrieve his hat but was quickly pulled down to the professor's eye level.

The professor bit his lip and purred back,  
“Why don’t you make me?”  
He closed his eyes and pressed his lips against the officers, wrapping his arms around his neck and placing his hat back where it belonged.

It took the officer longer than what he would have liked to realize what was happening, but when he did he couldn’t bring himself to stop it.  
His eyes slammed shut as he leaned into the kiss, placing his hands on each side of the professor. 

They stopped only for a moment to breathe as the professor moved his hands to Cosgrove’s cheeks.  
He looked into Cosgrove’s eyes and smiled mischievously.  
“See… I’m not so bad... Hm?”

Cosgrove lowered his hat over his eyes and blushed, “Hmph.”

“MON DIEU! HON HON HON! If you two lovebirds wanted some alone time you should have just asked!” Freakazoid announced loudly in a French accent, Steff beside him smiling at the two.

Cosgrove sat up embarrassed, “I was just getting my hat back, Freakazoid.”

Freakazoid crossed his arms “Suuuuuuuuure you were.”

Jones giggled at him, his eyes half-lidded. “It’s true.”

Cosgrove jabbed a finger at the butler. “He’s drunk, too.”

Freakazoid looked over at the mess of a man sprawled across the couch, “Gee, Jonesy. I was only gone for a minute.”

He giggled at the lightning-bolt haired boy. “I’m only a little drunk, he-heh.”

Freakazoid shook his head, “Drunk is drunk, Jonesy. Let’s get you to bed.”  
He helped the man off of the couch and walked him into his room.

“Aw, you’re no fun.”  
He turned around and waved to the older man on the couch, “Good niiiight, Cosgrooove.”

The cop’s only reply was to lower his hat over his eyes even more and ignore him.  
… It was strange, he thought.  
He didn’t even taste wine on the professor's breath…

Freakazoid placed Jones down on his bed and stood in the doorway, “D’ya need anything Jonesy? Like water, or something?”

The professor shook his head and smirked, “Nope!”  
\- And with that Freakazoid shut the door for the night.  
He laid down on his bed and sighed, “I’ve had enough water tonight.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya! This is my first Freakazoid fanfic, and hopefully not my last.  
> I write oneshot requests that are less than 1000 words! If you'd like one shoot me a message or an ask @queen-anarchy-666.tumblr.com


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